John 12:1-8
Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ‘Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?’ (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, ‘Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.’ The word of the Lord.
Emotion. The Latin root means to move out, remove, agitate; and with the French it evolved to a social moving, stirring. While it originally referred to a physical disturbance, “emotion” came to encompass a wider range of mental experiences. But that still doesn’t quite capture it. Emotion is the feeling of life’s movement, life’s evolution. (Robert Kegan)
In our text today there is a lot of latent, hidden emotion. They were gathered in the home of Lazarus, whom Jesus had raised from the dead, said as if Jesus was a shortstop and had one single and a sacrifice fly in five at bats. (Louise is not the only one who can use a baseball metaphor). Are not all of them still stunned out of their minds, that a brother, a friend, who was dead, and buried, is sitting there drinking a glass of Manischewitz?? Lazarus has bruises on his face because Mary and Martha keep joyfully pinching his cheeks as proof that he really is alive!
The party is for Jesus – for raising their hopes, for raising Lazarus, for raising their existence to a profoundly loving and grace-filled path. Then Mary takes expensive nard, a lot of it, and anoints Jesus’ feet. This is not a little foot massage, this is an anointing with so much meaning behind it, more than Mary knew, more than Mary felt. The feeling in the room was as powerful as the fragrance. Then Judas shares his feelings, “This is wasteful, decadent! What about the poor?” A completely different emotion is in the room.
Written 70-90 years after Jesus’ crucifixion, we might be getting, in John’s Gospel, a curriculum vitae that has been crafted to show that Judas was corrupt from the beginning. A thief, a liar. He didn’t care for the poor, but cared to pad his pocket. But some scholars suggest that Judas was a Zealot. He had hoped, along with others, that Jesus would be like David, and lead an uprising against Rome. The theory is that Judas, by betraying Jesus to the chief priests, hoped Jesus would realize he had to throw off his peaceful ways, and lead a military revolt!
Jesus says to Judas, “Leave Mary alone; she bought the nard for my burial.” Now a completely different emotion is experienced. “You always have the poor, but you won’t always have me.” They thought they’d lost Lazarus, but if they lose Jesus, who could raise him from the dead?
Emotion. But emotion is not just simple feelings. Emotion is the movement, the evolution of life. The invitation then is to move toward just emotions; choose emotions that are just and right, compassionate and honest, lifegiving for yourself and others. Emotions are…
Oh, wait a minute! (Slap my forehead!) I forgot! I forgot who I’m talking to! Y’all do everything, “decently and in order.” No emotions are allowed! You are suspicious of emotions. Now, it’s not that you lack emotions. You scream with frustration at the Rockies for being perennial losers! You jump up and down with joy when Jokic has a triple double. But many of you have learned to mistrust religious, spiritual emotion. Emotion has been used too many times as spiritual manipulation.
Growing up, the pastor made me feel so bad about myself that I had to run to the altar and give my life to Jesus – which I did about a 100 times in high school – so I could be sure I was saved. Emotions are powerful tools of manipulation – we must have our radars up to detect it. But, if in fear and suspicion of emotion, you shut down your emotions, you are committing a slow emotional suicide. If we shut off one emotion, we shut off the valve to all emotions. There is an official religious moniker for people like that – The Frozen Chosen. Better known as – Presbyterians.
Mary, with emotion, anoints Jesus. Her emotion was compassionate, just, right.
Sister Helen Mrosla taught 3rd grade in Minnesota. Mark Eklund. Bright, mischievous, happy-to-be-alive, and talkative. She had to remind him: talking without permission was unacceptable. “Thank you for correcting me, Sister.” One morning: “Mark, if you say one more thing I’m going to tape your mouth shut!” Not a minute later, Mark erupts with more words. Without a word she walked up to Mark, ducked-tapped his mouth shut, and sat back down. The class fell silent. She looked up – Mark winked at her. Sister Helen burst out laughing, class laughed, she took the tape off. “Thank you for correcting me, Sister.”
Sister Helen was asked to teach 9th grade math. Years went by, and Mark was in her class again. Handsome, polite, didn’t talk quite as much as he did. One Friday the class got frustrated with the math, tension built, the whole class was mad. She had to do something. Take out a sheet of paper and put everyone’s name on it, leaving 3 lines between names. Write down something you appreciate, like, feel about each person in our class. Class grew quiet, and the hour passed. On the way out, Mark said, “Thanks for teaching me, Sister. Have a nice weekend.”
Over the weekend, Sister Helen collated all the things said for each individual student. On Monday morning she gave the lists to the students. Smiles erupted around the classroom. She heard whispers: “I didn’t know they felt that way about me.” Sister Helen then asked them to open their math books. No one mentioned the lists afterwards.
Years later Sister Helen returned to Minnesota. Her parents told her the bad news. Mark had been killed in Vietnam. At the viewing, Sister Helen looked at Mark in his military uniform. “I’d give all the tape in the world just to have you talk to me again,” she thought.
At the reception, Mark’s parents were waiting for Sister Helen. “We want to show you something. They found this on Mark when he was killed. You might recognize it.” Opening a tattered wallet, Mark’s father carefully removed two worn pieces of paper that had been taped, folded, and refolded many times. “Thank you so much for doing that,” they said. “Mark treasured it.” Mark’s classmates began to gather around. Charlie said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.” Jack said his wife put his in their wedding album. “I have mine too,” said Marilyn, “It’s in my diary.” Vicki pulled hers out of her pocketbook. “I carry it with me at all times. I think we all saved our lists.” That’s when Sister Helen sat down…and cried. Just emotion. It’s not hard to imagine Mark, about to go on a military excursion, unfolding his list one more time, to be anointed not only with words, but by the emotions in those words.
What have we kept all these years, taped-up, folded and refolded many times, in the wallet of our hearts? What emotions have shaped us, or miss-shaped us? What emotions have others heard and felt from U & me? When they unfold our words, do they feel blessed and encouraged, or discouraged, misunderstood, not good enough? Many of the Pharisees anointed people with words like: “Tax collector, glutton, outcast, drunkard, sinner.” Jesus anointed others by welcoming the outcast, touching the leper, having compassion for the troubled.
We have many emotions right now. I can get caught up in it and say things that put duck-tape on others’ mouths. We can get so caught up in it, that our mood is one of undifferentiated anger or happiness, and we fail to feel more deeply, to feel more justly. Sister Helen found a way to ground her students, and herself, by tapping into appreciation, goodness, gratefulness, compassion.
Do our emotions do justice to the deeper truth of who we are, and what we experience? We are deep into Lent, a time of elevated emotions in the story of Jesus as he walks towards the cross. The invitation is to feel our emotions, express them justly, and pay attention to what they point to in you and me. To tap the deep goodness in here, our hearts, and in others.
